


Those who want to deflower

by melonbutterfly



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, M/M, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-20
Updated: 2011-06-20
Packaged: 2017-10-20 14:35:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melonbutterfly/pseuds/melonbutterfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karl Kraus said, "Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower." John is not one of them. Nope. Totally not. Except maybe the deflowering bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Those who want to deflower

The matriarchial societies always freak John out, he can't help it. It's not really a sexist thing, he doesn't think; it's more about how the matriachs look at him. Like they're thinking about knocking Teyla out and stealing him.

This particular society is even worse than the others – because they aren't looking at him that way, but at Rodney. Luckily Rodney has noticed and has spent most of his time practically glued to Teyla, with John and Ronon shadowing his back, behaving practically angelic for him. So far, the ladies of this planet who hold males as their slaves have been cordial, but John has enough experience with unknown societies to know that it could turn around any moment. He's hyper-vigilant, even though Teyla remains relaxed, calmly negotiating for seni, a type of wheat that they can do a lot of things with and that is cheaper than the pfi beans they had been using instead up until now.

It all goes well until the matriarchs – a tribunal of three women who are apparently the leaders of this society, and without whom no decisions are made – lead them into their temple, and it turns out they're using a ZPM as a lightbulb. Literally. Rodney starts hyperventilating and making squeaky noises, but he does manage to refrain from showing any other signs of his freaking out, doesn't even babble or snap his fingers and demand they hand the lightbulb over, which is remarkable. The matriarchs notice his excitement anyway, and they send each other looks and indulging glances at Rodney.

Then they ask if Rodney would like to have the pretty lightbulb – it's really beautiful and they have three others anyway – and Rodney promptly passes out.

Immediately, a swarm of teenage girls flutters around Rodney, tittering and giggling, fanning him with air and dabbing at his forehead with cloth, while Teyla explains that Rodney is sort of infatuated with pretty lightbulbs, but the ones they have aren't as bright as these ones. If it would be possible to trade these?

It is; the matriarchs don't really mind, apparently they like the control crystals and their greenish light better anyway and, as they say, pleasing a beautiful skelah like Rodney would be a pleasure to them too. John has no idea what the hell a skelah is supposed to be, but it's not really important, if it'll get them some ZPMs. He has no idea if they're fully charged, but they are more charged than most of the ZPMs John has seen in his life, and that's certainly something.

Unfortunately, when John steps forward to take the ZPM after Teyla has sealed the deal, he causes a diplomatic incident.

Only a small one, thankfully, because he only got far enough to set one foot into the middle ring of the temple that apparently is holy and that only females and skelahs are allowed to enter; had he gotten as far as into the inner ring, things would have gone much worse. Teyla slaps the back of his head hard and admonishes him strictly, and then she promises to punish him when they get home. The matriarchs, thankfully, are satisfied with that, though John continues to earn disgruntled looks for the rest of the visit – to be honest, he thinks what mostly saves him is Rodney waking up and making excited squirrel noises, adding girly flailing when he is informed that they've been given one of the ZPMs as a gift, with the possibility of trading for the remaining three in the future. The matriarchs send him indulging looks and pat his hands and head, and Rodney doesn't even have it in him to glare about the patronising behaviour.

Then they send a young man in his early twenties to get the ZPM and replace it with three control crystals; the young man hands the ZPM over to Rodney with an excited blush on his cheeks. He leans in to whisper something into Rodney's ear that makes Rodney blush deeply as well and glance down abashedly. John really, really wants to know what that was all about, but the matriarchs look displeased every time he steps closer to Rodney, and he'd rather not be responsible for their trading to go sour at this point. Rodney would probably flay him alive if they lost the ZPM now just because he couldn't control himself.

But nothing goes wrong, and they walk away with a ZPM, clutched tightly in Rodney's arms, and a nice deal vor seni in return for refined sugar. John waits until they're safe in the jumper before turning to Teyla and asking the question that has been burning in him since Rodney started with the squirrel noises: "What is a skelah?"

Teyla smiles and puts her hand on Rodney's, still wrapped tight around the ZPM. "It is a man who has not had sexual intercourse of any kind," she explains before Rodney can stop her. Teyla ignores the subsequent dismayed noise Rodney makes and continues, "They disliked you so, John, because you have had all kinds of penetrative intercourse – in their hierarchy, males who remain untouched are favoured, such as females are in your society."

"That's not..." John starts, then gives up; there's no way to explain that this is not really the case anymore, especially since for some narrow-minded people it still is, and considering there's whole societies and faith systems insisting on virgin women, he wouldn't be able to make a sound argument anyway. Then the other part of what Teyla said pervades, and he blushes deep red. "Uhm," he says.

"How about we never speak of this again," Rodney says tightly, gaze fixated on the ZPM in his arms.

John says quickly, "Sure" and that's the moment he figures out the other part of the equation – the part where Rodney never had sex.

It's good that he doesn't have to say anything for the next couple of minutes, because the only thing he'd probably be able to utter would be something along the lines of "Ngh".

John has never considered himself into the whole virgin thing. It had been topic every now and then, guys talk and all that, but honestly – John had never been into it. The whole idea of being the first guy to touch a woman had actually terrified him; what if he did something wrong? She'd be scarred for _life_. No matter what he did, she might carry away a whole shitload of issues away from one single encounter with John, and she'd probably hate him forever.

No, John had always been more into mutual gratification; a woman (or man, he wasn't _that_ picky) who knew what they wanted, and it wasn't a deep connection and never-ending love. The woman he had been married to for a brief period had been of a similar opinion; they had separated over the dreaded issue of children, one of the things that could make or break a relationship. It had been an amicable divorce, and John wasn't heartbroken over the whole thing.

In the end, John had never considered himself a candidate for the whole love forever thing – he separated his relationships from his friendships completely, and scarcely did the two meet. But if he was being honest with himself, Rodney had always been the exception that proved the rule. John had always tried hard to deny the fact that he was pretty seriously interested in Rodney; he told himself that their friendship was enough, and in a way he was right; it was more already than he had ever even known to imagine. But if that were really all he wanted and needed from Rodney, he wouldn't be getting so hot and bothered at the mere idea of being the first one to have sex with Rodney – at the thought of Rodney, mostly if not completely experienced, naked in his bed. Spread out over the sheets, eyes wide and babbling nervously until John made him forget even his own name...

Right. John has to clear his throat twice before he can answer Elizabeth's radio call, and he's very grateful he's done this so often – fly a jumper towards a gate and dial Atlantis – that it's practically automatical at this point. He's also grateful when Rodney starts babbling into the radio about the new ZPM they've got immediately, and about that distracting everyone. When the jumper lands in the bay Rodney immediately gets swallowed up by a wave of geeks; they accompany him to the infirmary, because there are absolutely no compromises about that part of protocol. Nobody pays attention to John and how he's got to stay in his seat a while longer than usual to avoid drawing any undue attention to the bulge in his pants.

Well, nobody but Ronon, who snickers and pats him on the shoulder before leaving the jumper as well. John grimaces and runs a hand through his hair before getting up and heading for the infirmary as well.

For the next three days, he doesn't get to see much more of Rodney than a few excited reports about what all they're able to do, now that they've got a three-quarters full ZPM. It's both good and very, very unfortunate; good because that way he can tell himself a couple hundred times to behave normally in Rodney's presence without ever needing to test if he's actually able to, but it's very unfortunate because that way his imagination can run away with him unhindered by reality. By the time he actually does get to have dinner with Rodney – a team dinner, but still, dinner with Rodney – he half believes that Rodney really would like John to help him out with this virginity issue. Furthermore, the logical part of his brain that argues that if that were so, Rodney would have long given an indication, is being mostly shut up by the observation that Rodney really doesn't know how to flirt or handle any issues concerning sex with any kind of grace that would lead to the kind of result he wants.

Of course, rationally he knows that's bogus. Rodney is attractive and cute, and John is fairly sure that he could get what he wants; it's quite possible, however, that he doesn't want anything. It's not that unheard of, after all.

His dick isn't happy at all with that idea, but John isn't the kind of guy that thinks with his dick (much), and Rodney is still his friend. He won't jeopardize that for anything, no matter how much he really, really wants to lock himself up with Rodney in a room with a big bed and not come out for three days. Or three weeks.

Unfortunately, spending time with Rodney doesn't alleviate either side at all – he still wants to fuck his brains out and then do it all over again with Rodney being the one to fuck him, and he is still terrified at the possibility of their friendship being jeopardized by that.

It's pretty simple, really, and it's amazing that John didn't figure it out for so long, especially considering how he spent the last couple of days rubbing his dick raw fantasising about banging Rodney into the mattress. Still, the moment he realises what's really going on John freezes up and drops his fork.

Rodney turns to him with a frown and says, "It's not that amazing, I am habitually awesome, you know," with a frown. It's scarily prohpetic and it takes John a moment – a moment in which his body takes over and makes him nod and say "I know" before his brain can jump back onto the reality track – to remember that Rodney is in fact not reading his thoughts; he's talking about the way he advanced science today. Or rather, the many ways, sped along by their new ZPM. Rodney blinks for him for a moment, looking baffled, before turning back to Teyla and Ronon, the two of whom he was explaining his most recent act of genius to.

John picks up his fork and stops his usual train of thoughts that happens every time someone mentions the new ZPM – he remembers how they got it, and why they got it, which is that Rodney has never had sex, and then he usually ends up imagining the many ways he'd like to help Rodney change that. All in all, he considers it a great save.

Consequently, he's completely surprised when Rodney ambushes him later that evening just when he's about to enter his quarters. In his usual confrontial way, Rodney pushes John inside, closes the door after tham with an impatient wave to the sensors and then crosses his arms. "Alright, what the hell is going on?", he demands.

John absolutely does not panic. "What are you talking about?", he evades, trying not to defensively cross his arms as well, because, right, nothing is going on. Absolutely nothing, and John is absolutely not staring at the way that stance makes Rodney's biceps bulge, or thinking about how Rodney scowling at him is really hot. No sir.

Rodney's glare intensifies, and he flaps his hand. "That! With the whole... evasion thing you've got going?"

"Evasion? I don't know what you're talking about," John evades. "I'm not avoiding you."

"You totally are. You haven't shown up in the lab once, even though it's especially cool down there right now, what with all the new little gizmos that are suddenly functioning. Also, you were acting really weird at dinner right now." Jesus, is that a pout? It totally is not, John would just _die_. He doesn't know from what; it's adorable, and Rodney really shouldn't be adorable, and this is not the situation in which to indulge the part of his brain (or not brain, as it were) that recently (or not so recently) went crazy for Rodney.

"I just..." Damn. "...didn't want to bother you." And that was a crap save. Actually, considering it's Rodney he's lying to, it was the opposite of a save. John usually isn't a stupid liar, but apparently, with most of his braincells trying not to fixate on how intensely blue and piercing Rodney's eyes are when he's honestly annoyed, or the way the muscles in his arms are flexing, or how he's standing with his legs slightly spread in a way that makes John want to sink to his knees and blow him _right now,_ he's not capable of making up something more sensible on the fly.

"Bother me?" Rodney repeats incredulously. "You've never cared about that before. Are you fucking with me?"

"Not yet," John blurts. Then he says "Crap" and hides his face in his hands.

"What?", he hears Rodney ask, completely taken aback.

John takes a step back and sinks down on his bed, lets himself drop on his back with his arm thrown over his eyes. "Ah, can we pretend the last minute didn't happen?"

"That depends," Rodney says hesitantly; John hears him take a step closer. "Was that a proposition?"

Maybe that's why Rodney hasn't had sex yet. He's seriously clueless.

Lifting his arm a bit to glimpse at his friend, John hesitates. "Uhm. Depends on whether you would be amenable or not." When Rodney bites his lip and looks John up and down, looking not uninterested (actually pretty interested, as far as John can tell), John starts to hope. "I mean, I thought I could help you out with that... little problem you have."

"Problem?" Rodney looks confused.

Taking his arm off his face completely, John pushes up on one elbow. "You know? That whole skelah thing?"

Rodney's face falls. "Of course. Of course you would- uhm, thanks, but no thanks, Colonel." Before John can do anything but gape, Rodney is out the door.

Oh, hell no. John jumps off the bed and hurries out into the corridor, where Rodney is about to enter the transporter. Calling Rodney's name, John sprints over and makes it into the transporter just before its doors close.

"What do you want?", Rodney asks, arms crossed and staring fixedly at the door. He's not getting out of the transporter yet, that's a good sign. It has to be.

"What did you mean? You said "of course you would". Of course I would what?"

The back of Rodney's neck tenses. "Of course you would consider it a problem," Rodney says tightly. "Because that's what this is about, right?" He turns his head to glare at John, and it's a real glare – an angry, hurt glare, the kind John has very rarely been responsible for. Every time he was, he swore to himself afterwards to never do anything ever again to put that look on Rodney's face. "You think I have a problem, but have been too pathetic to find anyone to take care of it for me, don't you?"

John is appalled. "No! Of course not."

Rodney looks only marginally appeased at his instant denial. "Then what the fuck is this about? I don't want pity fucks, John, if I did, I could have "taken care" of this "problem" a long time ago." It's amazing how Rodney can manage to make his air quotes audible without needing to move a finger.

"That's not what I meant, Rodney, I didn't..." Frustrated, John runds a hand through his hair and looks away for a moment. "That was a stupid thing to say, Rodney, and I'm sorry. I was just trying to... I was just trying to hide how much I want it," he says quietly. Next to him, Rodney is quiet, and so John tries to explain better. "I figured that it was a conscious thing, I mean, with the..." John flaps his hand in a way he has picked up from Rodney and that he's been desperately trying to stop doing, because it makes him look seriously gay. "You're hot," he finally manages to say. "And you're a good guy, and someone ought to have seen it at one point."

"You've never said anything," Rodney says quietly, making it a question.

"I didn't want to... Rodney, you have to have noticed by now that I keep sex and friendship strictly apart."

Rodney snorts, but thankfully doesn't make the usual Kirk comment he normally does whenever John's sex life comes up – which it never does unless Rodney makes it so, but still.

"And you're..." John has to swallow.

"Oh my god, come with me before you faint," Rodney interrupts, grabbing his arm and dragging him out of the transporter, down the corridor and into Rodney's quarters. "Sit." John gets shoved onto the bed, and then Rodney drags the sheet over his head.

"Rodney, what-?"

"It'll be easier that way, won't it?" Rodney explains without explaining. "You don't have to look at me or anything or notice me at all. Now, talk."

Sometimes John forgets how weird Rodney sometimes is. "Uhm, okay." Where was he? Right, the epicness of their relationship. "You're... pretty much my best friend ever. And I mean that in a way that... you know what I mean. I mean, you know what I think. You... we have the same kind of humor, and the same kinds of interests, only we live them in completely different ways. You... we... I can see us still being friends ten, twenty years from now, the same way we're now. You know how friendships work, you get along great for a couple of years, and then you'll drift apart; it's just the way things go. But not with us."

"No," Rodney says quietly. "I know. I just didn't know you think so, too."

"I do," John says, just as quietly. Then he takes a deep breath. "And if I were responsible for... if it were my fault that we... stopped being friends, stopped being so comfortable with each other, I... I'd never risk it."

"But you did, just now." Rodney finally sinks down onto the bed as well.

John looks down at his fingers. "Not on purpose. It's just... I didn't know you never had, you know."

"It's not that I haven't wanted to," Rodney starts explaining. "It's just... my parents sort of... well, they got together because the sex was great, basically. By the time I was old enough to be self-aware, I was also old enough to be really stressful, and... it stopped being fun, for them, basically. For a while they did this angry sex thing, but then Jeannie came, and that was basically the end of their relationship as a couple, and they hated each other and blamed each other. Of course, I only figured all that out later, but... I just... I figured I wouldn't have... well, I didn't want casual sex at all, and relationships... well, I figured we would need to click first, to really work out as people before we could work out as sexual beings. I'm not really good with people, you know, and I didn't trust that I'd be able to recognise whether the way a person and I fit is sexual or not, and I'd rather not be in a relationship my whole life than end up the way my parents did. So I figured, relationship first, sex later. But it never really... happened."

"I've never been into the whole virginity-thing," John says.

"Until now."

"No, not really. I think it's just... it's that it's you, I think. I mean... it's not a recent thing."

"It's not?", Rodney asks. He sounds a little insecure.

John shakes his head. "No." He might be holding his breath until Rodney shifts and bump shoulders with him in that way they do.

"You realise I'm not going to just fall into bed with you," Rodney says after a while.

John snorts. "Yes."

"Good." Taking a shaky sounding breath, Rodney then offers tentatively, "Then I might be willing to try this. A relationship, I mean. If that's what you really want."

"Yes," John says. He's pretty glad about the sheet now; his wide grin must make him look really silly.


End file.
